Headset   

Songs  

Cup of coffee 

Cozy pillows 

Okay I’m ready to start my story. Just for you gangs!

This time it’s all about my bad memory which is about bully, so here is my story.

First of all, I am the first kid in family and also the first grand-daughter in my mom’s family. I grown up closer to my mom’s family. So I got a lot of their attention. Because of that I got much food too, making me a big kid around my friends. It was not a big problem, as a kid when you higher and bigger they will play under your command. LOL.

I grew up as an active girl. I have ton of activity a day. From 7am school start and ended up 8pm after my additional course. Coming home at 9pm and already tired. I just wanna sleep. I used to sleep right after I get home, forget about washing my face. I keep doing this bad routine until one day my face gave up and having all those problem, from blackhead, acne, and acne scars. These problems made my face unpleasant to see and people around me (except my family) starting to feel disgusting and walk away from me whenever I come join the conversation. Some people who knew me in the first time they must be seeing me like I’am alien and need to be banished.

From then I got many problems not only from my skin but also from my society. Most of people will not be pointed at me directly, they will just talk behind me. Sometimes I heard they talked about me using my name whispering (they thought) but I could hear that and I never come to them and ask why. I just let it go because they are none of my business.

I remember one of my classmate said “who is the one has islands in her face?” and they all laugh at me. This happen when I was in mid school. First grade. Island they meant by acne I have. I didn’t have much that time but they are visible and compare to other students I have lots.

When I was In high school my acne getting even worse because of stress in studying and the activity I have even more from school I have drum school then I go running and in the evening having course to do my homework. In high school most of the girl they become more mature and use cosmetic to school like lipstick, eyeliner etc. I was have no interest with it and also my skin is in problematic phrase so I don’t want to use it in the long period like school which is from 7am till 4pm.

Some girls in high school make fun of me, like every time any one talk to me especially boy they will yell like I am gonna have intimate time in the class even I was just talking about eraser that I bought for over 2 years and still have a lot. Those girls will yell like monkey seeing ghosts. I answer them rather than silent. One of those girl said to me “hey you gonna have fun with him?” while laughing with her gangs, and I said “Who you? you wanna have fun with boys? Go get some fun rather than interfering someone’s life”. That time they shook their head and silent while some of my classmates also remind silent but seeing each other like hey she respond it.

After my high school done, I went into college and because my activity just not as much as before I started to gain weight. Again another problem LOL.

In college most of them came from villages so they stayed in dorm room or rent house with some of their village friends. One day I wanted to stay like them in dorm room or rent house without parents and just friends, because I want to know the feeling. In my mind it must be so fun and I can go everywhere till late night without permission. So I ask one of my classmate who offer her house to be like a dorm room. I said “hey can I stay in your house too?”. FYI my financial is not bad that time I have more than enough to rent a house for me alone but because of that “thought” I wanted to stay with them. I was shocked and immediately regret my decision for asking about that offer. She answered my question with “really?! you will be break my ceiling if you stay in my home”. Seriously?! I am not as big as an elephant. I know I am fat but is that your way to say NO to someone?. 

Most of the bully I got is verbally which is break my heart. Why some people can’t be just normal if they seeing someone with the difference? Do we have to be always polished whenever we talk to other people just to make their eyes having good sight? Why don’t we accept the difference? Why don’t we think what is the story behind them wearing it? behind them having it? Why do we feel so easy to judge people by their appearance? Why does bully so easy to do?

After I got married, I more concern to take care of my own business rather than stalking someone’s life and make fun of it.

For you gangs who have the same experience as me or even worse, take an action. When they start to bully you, please don’t be silent. Do something. If you too scared to have an action in the time they did it to you just tell everything to your parents or someone you trust can protect you. Those people won’t be big if we didn’t let them big.

Please never ever get depress of this kind of situation, we are allowed to feel the sadness and angry but it doesn’t mean we have to lose from them. This is our life not theirs, so don’t let those scum ruin your beautiful life.

 

 

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